April — A Fool’s Lessons

On the fourth month of the year, my journey gave to me…
An ode to grief.

If April were a person, it would be the type of buddy who unexpectedly shows up and makes you sit down for life lessons that you didn’t ask for. And while you’re fuming at the audacity, you realize they’ve left behind nuggets of wisdom you can’t ignore. That was April for me — unwanted, unrelenting, but ultimately unforgettable.

April was for my Gs. My tribe. The friends and family who didn’t just say, “Let me know if you need anything,” but instead rolled up their sleeves and did something. They spoon-fed me when I couldn’t muster the energy to eat, sat with me in silence when words felt inadequate and brought humour into the moments when laughter seemed impossible. They reminded me that even when times are tough, there’s always a bright light in the connections we share — my Yard People!

This April, grief taught me humility in ways I didn’t expect. It stripped me of my usual defences, my “I’m fine” mask and left me vulnerable. And as scary as that was, it also opened my eyes to the beauty of letting others in. To accept help, to lean on others, to realize that I don’t always have to be strong.

In retrospect, I realize how “foolish” it was of me to believe I could handle this on my own. Grief has the ability to make you feel like a burden and that no one can really relate to what you’re going through. But April proved me wrong. My yard people didn’t just walk with me through the pain; they carried me when I couldn’t walk myself.

And in their care, I learned a humbling truth: there’s strength in being soft. There’s wisdom in surrendering control and allowing yourself to just be — messy, broken, and human.

Cheers to my Abokis! I love you guys for real fr!